This week I’m sharing something a little different because just like everyone else here, I’m a little different. Maybe it’s because I’m too shy or that I overthink almost every situation, but I’ve always felt that you should learn to control oversharing and never get too personal about yourself with anyone.
You might think this isn’t true about myself since I have a blog and publish (almost) weekly 500+ words on personal notes and fashionable outtakes on life. But it is. I’ve never truly talked about my relationship, family matters, personal worries, or my most fearsome troubles with almost anyone.
When I was younger I thought my life would effortlessly play out like infinite reoccurring scenes from Sex and the City. I could’ve sworn I’d be eating brunch, publishing steamy articles, and talking about all my sex scandals with my 3 closest friends by now. Sadly, after many years of re-runs and catty fights between Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha, and Miranda, I realized how frantically unnerving their relationships were portrayed. Don’t get me wrong, Carrie Bradshaw will always be my most influential muse but I cannot agree with her role of over-sharing. The situation would always get much more problematic, they all got a little more stressed than they should, and most of the advice was simply terrible.
Dress: Ann Taylor
Why I decided to to never overshare or get personal with Anyone:
- situations become biased
- It can make people uncomfortable
- Bad judgements
- Emotions spiral
- You rely too much on others opinions
Learning to control oversharing is an art. There are words you can’t take back when things get uncomfortably personal and judgements that will linger on, indefinitely. Most of the time, the two can be overlooked because the situation can become a little hazy with the need to look for advice, seek any attention, or wanting positive reinforcements. Skinner might refer to this as operant conditioning.
Before I learned the art controlling to overshare, I associated the need to get personal with strangers (or people who I was not to close with), with getting attention in return, even if it was bad or started rumors. Terrible, right? Each day I woke up feeling judged, sad, and like I was losing control of who I was and it had to stop. At 18 I decided to never kiss and tell, to never share what truly made me sad or bitter, and to never open up to anyone unless there was unbreakable bond of trust.
I’ve said this to people before and they’ve asked how I could even build a relationship if I don’t open up. I do talk about myself, my childhood, my family, and slightly uncomfortable situations but I leave the personal outtakes and traumatic feelings aside (does this even make sense and does this make me sound like a melodramatic princess?). But like I said, controlling to need to overshare is an art.
And this, ladies and gentleman, is as personal as I’ll get unless we build such a bond that I decided to share my nudes with you. Just kidding, I don’t have nudes. Or do I? I don’t.