5 Reasons Why I Decided To Control Oversharing and Never Get Personal

This week I’m sharing something a little different because just like everyone else here, I’m a little different. Maybe it’s because I’m too shy or that I overthink almost every situation, but I’ve always felt that you should learn to control oversharing and never get too personal about yourself with anyone.

You might think this isn’t true about myself since I have a blog and publish (almost) weekly 500+ words on personal notes and fashionable outtakes on life. But it is. I’ve never truly talked about my relationship, family matters, personal worries, or my most fearsome troubles with almost anyone.

When I was younger I thought my life would effortlessly play out like infinite reoccurring scenes from Sex and the City. I could’ve sworn I’d be eating brunch, publishing steamy articles, and talking about all my sex scandals with my 3 closest friends by now. Sadly, after many years of re-runs and catty fights between Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha, and Miranda, I realized how frantically unnerving their relationships were portrayed. Don’t get me wrong, Carrie Bradshaw will always be my most influential muse but I cannot agree with her role of over-sharing. The situation would always get much more problematic, they all got a little more stressed than they should, and most of the advice was simply terrible.


Coat: KUNA
Dress: Ann Taylor
Top: Zara
Shoes: Coach

[show_shopthepost_widget id=”2446671″]

Why I decided to to never overshare or get personal with Anyone:

  1. situations become biased
  2. It can make people uncomfortable
  3. Bad judgements
  4. Emotions spiral
  5. You rely too much on others opinions

Learning to control oversharing is an art. There are words you can’t take back when things get uncomfortably personal and judgements that will linger on, indefinitely. Most of the time, the two can be overlooked because the situation can become a little hazy with the need to look for advice, seek any attention, or wanting positive reinforcements. Skinner might refer to this as operant conditioning.

Before I learned the art controlling to overshare, I associated the need to get personal with strangers (or people who I was not to close with), with getting attention in return, even if it was bad or started rumors. Terrible, right? Each day I woke up feeling judged, sad, and like I was losing control of who I was and it had to stop. At 18 I decided to never kiss and tell, to never share what truly made me sad or bitter, and to never open up to anyone unless there was unbreakable bond of trust.

I’ve said this to people before and they’ve asked how I could even build a relationship if I don’t open up. I do talk about myself, my childhood, my family, and slightly uncomfortable situations but I leave the personal outtakes and traumatic feelings aside (does this even make sense and does this make me sound like a melodramatic princess?).  But like I said, controlling to need to overshare is an art.

And this, ladies and gentleman, is as personal as I’ll get unless we build such a bond that I decided to share my nudes with you. Just kidding, I don’t have nudes. Or do I? I don’t.

how to control oversharing

dinosaurs in orlando at Leu Gardens

personal note: obsessed doesn’t even cut how I feel about dinosaurs. I paid $10 to get into the Harry P. Leu Gardens and I’d pay it again to spend another day there.


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13 Comments

  1. February 21, 2017 / 9:46 am

    I really love this! I think that, as a fellow blogger, sometimes we want to be open and while I talk about my struggles with anxiety and bullying (in the hopes that others in the same situation will find it helpful) there are things that I just don’t talk about, Family and personal things like that are just not things that I want to share and I’m sure people aren’t interested to hear lol! Gorgeous photos BTW! I must say I love those 2 little dinos!

    Ellie
    http://www.scotchandstilettos.com

  2. February 21, 2017 / 10:01 am

    Loved to get to know about you and your thoughts, and I really agree with you! I have two really amazing friends and with them I share things, but apart from them, I don’t like judgement and everyone has experiences that we need to preserve – and people just see the top of the iceberg, not why one did “this or that”. Really a great post and I loved your shoes, blazer and skirt! Really a great style and you look very beautiful! I am following you now!
    DenisesPlanet.com

  3. February 21, 2017 / 10:14 am

    First off, what gorgeous photos! I love this look on you. Second — good for you for setting limits about what you will & won’t share on social media. It’s such a tricky world, and while it’s nice to hear people open up sometimes, there are definitely a lot of over-sharer’s out there, it’s not always necessary…and gets kind of awkward when people share every little thing about their lives. I loved this post! XO

  4. February 21, 2017 / 12:31 pm

    This is a great post! I only “overshare” with very few select people that I know in real life that I know I can trust. You definitely have to be in control of how much personal information you give out. I love your outfit too!

  5. February 21, 2017 / 1:23 pm

    Great post! I come from a long line of family members who are the opposite of oversharing, so I’ve always been more reserved. Sometimes I think it helps, but other times, I’m not sure. Love the pictures!

  6. February 21, 2017 / 1:42 pm

    This is such a great post I really enjoyed reading it. I can totally relate to you. I find it a constant struggle on how to stay relatable in the bloghing world but not to overshare. Btw I really loved your photos. Keep up the great work. Xo -Emily (SCsister)

    http://bailylamb.com

  7. February 21, 2017 / 8:38 pm

    Very good points here. I am glad you mentioned trust though… I don’t share much with the world but I have two people in my life I can share pretty much everything with because I know they will never judge me for my weaknesses (or strengths) and my decisions (good or bad). I also know I can always count on them to “help” me if needed…
    Thanks for sharing this… (pun intended…) 😉
    xx
    Nathalie
    http://www.crayonsinmylouboutins.com

  8. Gabrielle Loomis
    February 23, 2017 / 5:23 pm

    Very good post! I think some things are meant to be kept to ourselves. I think I share a lot about myself to close friends and sometimes on my blog as well. I do think this is a good way to connect with people 🙂

    Gabrielle // http://www.colormesassy.com

  9. ttd09
    February 23, 2017 / 11:56 pm

    Nice post…I am with you. I love to share things on fashion and style, but keep my personal life somewhat private. You just never know 😉

    Lydia | http://www.chicandmodish.com

  10. Jamie
    February 26, 2017 / 10:37 am

    This is me. I overshare! The judgement never ends and I always ask myself why? Hmmm.

  11. March 3, 2017 / 2:37 pm

    Great post. I tend to automatically overshare because that is who I am, I wear my heart on my
    Sleeves and my emotionas too. I’m trying to learn to censor it a little bit!

  12. March 27, 2017 / 5:27 pm

    I totally agree with you on controlling the need to overshare. I was never one to talk about my feelings too much especially with people I’m not close to. I think that some things should be kept private. Although we’re bloggers, it doesn’t mean that the world needs to know every detail of our lives. I loved this post babe and your outfit is gorgeous! Love the stunning photos. xoxo

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